Vanilla Ice Cream with Warm Espresso

mmmmm so my boss today was cravin' some vanilla ice cream with warm espresso poured over it. Turns out, it was an adventure just getting the fucking ice cream.

Recap of today:

Kevin gets back from running errands and is bummed that he forgot ice cream. So I told him I wouldn't mind riding to the Shell on the Old Road next to Rye. Obviously no ice cream, I tried the Chevron too but, no ice cream. I get back and try the Sandwich Shop already knowing I would fail. So he asks my co-worker to go to 7-11.

He comes back after Kevin gets finished making cup after cup of PodMerchant House Blend Espresso.

To make a long story short that shit was so bomb. The espresso melted ice cream a little and it was delicious! You've go to try it.

Stay Fit, Stay Healthy

Thats the first two steps. You should already know to eat healthy. So now you know. The secret to healthy living.

Summer love is Pasta love

OH my gosh! I'm so sorry its been a couple of days. I went on a mini vacation with my family to rincon and camped for a few days so I had no access to this shit to tell you all the wonderful shit I was doing.

I logged on and had a message from a friend and it was a recipe! Ya I love technology. Anyways this one is from Taylor and Tom and they thought that others might enjoi this as mush as them. Its looks pretty damn yummy I'm going to try it this week ^.^

Ohhhh tay (italicized notes are my own.)

-Cooked pasta cold
-corn cooked in cayenne pepper what I think you should do is, if you have access to a grill, wrap WHITE [white is a lot sweeter] in tin foil with earth balance and cayenne pepper. you could also just as easily put corn in the bottom broiler I think. once the corn is done cooking let it cool down then cut off all the tasty cornlets to toss into pasta salad
- chucks of avocado and apples cut avacado and apples about the same in size
-chopped almonds maybe toast this a little bit before you chop them to get those oils brought out so they give off that awesome toasted nut smell ^.^
-balsamic vinaigrette and a tiny bit of Italian dressing to tell you the truth i think you can do without both the dressings, either or would be fine in this cold pasta salad i think


I'm Italian and basically will eat anything involving pasta. Shits way bomb. And nothing beats cold pasta salad during the summer time. Keep that shit light too, heavy pastas during the day and in the sun is NO BUENO. Also, please if you have a recipe you love and know that others will to, SEND IT so I can post it up for the world to see. No use in hiding good food right! Ok, school starts this week and that means I start a class for my food handling certificate. Woop.

Fuck ice cream, I like frozen yogurt

Last night I decided to skip dinner and go straight to dessert. I totally munched on a free regular size frozen treat all thanks to a sweet girl named Brittany. Let me indulge you:

MANGO TART FROZEN YOGURT/ HAWAIIAN COCONUT FROZEN YOGURT
RASPBERRIES
AND CRUNCHY GRANOLA

Fuck that shit was so good. I couldn't even finish it, it was so fat. I love frozen yogurt.

Soy Joy

If any of you are familiar with this commercial...I tried this bar for breakfast this morning. Man they are pretty darn good! I had the Mango Coconut one and it was fabulously moist! Such an awesome breakfast treat.

Weekend Warriors

Over the weekend I just casually munched and crunched. I ended up eating a lot of nutz (the edible ones) and someone stumbled across these and graciously let me munch, hard. These things are fucking delicious! Holy Cow. Such an unexpected burst of citrus. I'm telling you that's the way to go.

Also happened to eat a lot of pistachios, because I really enjoi those bad boys just as much.

Another thing...I went on a wonderful bike ride with some charming individuals. Most knew how to cook good food, and have fun doing just about anything. A handful of people rode from Pavilions to Castaic lake to BBQ, swim in the lake, and chill hard. It was fucking nice. Besides chillin jumping off docks into perfect temperature water whilst super st0ned...we had some bomb food. The vegans in our group group some awesome mix of veggies; bellpepers, mushrooms, onions, asparagus, squash, and perhaps something else I've forgotten..all marinating in a mix of lemon juice, olive oil and spices. That was bomb. Also a package of Boca Burgers, veggie burgers, and felafel (if you've never tried falafel before, its a mix of chickpeas and various spices and veeeeery enjoyable). The meat eaters happened to bring a slab of hamburger meat and buns, etc. Me...I just happened to bring two flanks of salmon and some peaches. I made a grilled salmon lunch. I drizzled olive oil and I brought ground cayenne pepper to spice it up. Not only was the red pepper good on my salmon but people enjoyed it on the veggies as well. Seriously, awesome BBQ sesh. Not to mention the Tecates.

One more food related thing over the weekend: if you've never noticed...Pavilions has a Natural Food aisle that apparently not a lot of you know about. If you haven't checked it out, I suggest you do. It's not a huge selection but it does have a lot of on-the-go vegan friendly treats for allllll enjoiments. They have this awesome vanilla cashew bar that I absolutely love. Also their Panda's are freaking awesome. They very much enjoied while sitting in the park. The raspberry ones are my favorite, but I am also a fan of the black licorice one too. SO fucking tasty. Also, I've been living off Naked juices all weekend.













In non-food related news: Tropic Thunder. I almost don't even need to say anything after that. FUCK that shit was so0o0o gnarly. RDJ, Ben Stiller, and Jack Black are really the "3 musketeers" in this movie. Jack Black's character makes me want to shove a fist up my asshole.

What?

OOOOPS I ate Wendy's.

Ahhhhrg, ok...I didn't eat anything all day and then...in the wee hours of the night at Ronny's I GOT THE MADDDD MUNCHIES. Fuck. So now you know, but hey who can doubt a single sour cream and chive baked potato?....I can't.




So much for the barbequing Rams. I was still so down for grilled salmon and veggies. Ballz

Cooking with a Fat Jewish Guy? pt 2

Caitlin mentioned something to me the other day about Barack Obama Cupcakes that FJG made, and I do remember watching him attempt half vanilla half chocolate cupcakes. PSHA anyways, enjoi?

Stereotypical

OK I know women, now, have as many rights as men do. FUCKING YES, we like to be as manly as we can, awesome. Anyways, I love that we can do what we can, live as we would, dress like we could, and have multiple relationships as we should. ANYWAYS, why can't we still dress like this when we cook. I think the redheaded bitch looks good. Wouldn't you want someone this good looking bringing you a delicious apple pie? I'd eat her apple...pie.

Route 66

Fuck, would you like to know what I got myself into this evening? Let me show you...
I know right FUCK. But hey, it was my Dad's 42nd birthday. So it was a love/hate relationship. Anyways I'm writing about my experience at Route 66, where this whole shindig was held at. Route 66 is in the same parking lot as the Canyon Country movie theatres. This restaurant was completely based on road food. Burgers, salads with steak, nachos, you name it. What the fuck was I going to eat. I see no vegetarian friendly items on the meal besides a vegetarian sandwich that came with cream cheese, alfalfa, carrots, and some other not appealing items. I'm browsing the burger section when I notice they substitute their beef patties with veggie burgers. Fucking thank god, I was hungry and thought I was going to have to eat spinach dip and lamp heated tortilla chips all night. I picked the Spicy Arizona Burger. Sounds gnarly right? Shit was so bomb. It came with Jack cheese, roasted and washed green peppers, some awesome salsa y corn type nonsense and they so kindly put it on a wheat bun (probably could have done the same with white considering this wheat looked too processed to hold any nutritional value). It was surprisingly good. All the while my mama is sipping Jack and diets (I have to say I follow after my mother) and an extra shot of whiskey (myyyyyy kind of lady). All I can say is I love that my mom highballs it.

Anyways, not too many choices at fucking Route 66, but really good bar food.

Other Route 66 adventure news:
Old haggard biker men love young 18 year old girls with sunflower tattoos on their shoulder....gets em hard.

Espresso Espresso Espresso

VS.

So I'm at work right now, talking across my desk to my boss. And I ask him a very, very serious question..."Are you taking down Covim Gran Crema off the website?"

Its a fucking sad day, let me tell you. My favorite, and possibly one of the most expensive espresso pods we sell isn't being bought by our costumers. :( My boss tells me "Yeeeeeeuh, no one buys cases anymore, so that's an indicator that its not going to do any better then it is right now." I reply, "You know whats my favorite espresso here right!?" My boss' response "No, I didn't know that. Have you tried the Izzo Vivi? It has a similar taste to Covim Gran Crema." But of course, I knew what I liked more, "I enjoy the Vivi when I have something sweet to go along with it (my boss ordered two brands of Stroopwafles which went very well with Vivi) other than that, Covim Gran Crema takes the cake because of the awesome crema is makes when produced."

From the charming Ligurian Riviera and the home of Christopher Columbus, COVIM has arrived in the US. South American, African, Far Eastern and South Asian coffee beans are carefully selected and roasted in Genova, Italy, to produce the highest quality and flavor making COVIM one of the finest roasting houses in the world. Covim Gran Crema is a blend of 20% Arabica (blend of Brasil Santos, Colombia, Costa Rica, Guatemala, and Santo Domingo) with 80% Robusta (blended from Southeast Asian and African countries).



Izzo Caffè was founded near Mt. Vesuvius in 1979 by Mr. Vincenzo Izzo as an artisan-based coffee roastery, and has been striving with passion to produce real Neapolitan espresso for over 25 years. In the course of these years of activity, a strong spirit of enterprise, along with a technically and commercially qualified team, has laid the way for the Company's rapid growth, thus gradually establishing its presence on both the national and international market. Vivi Caffe Espresso — "An Espresso for the Road...". Vivi Caffe makes a strong, hearty cup of espresso — A great morning wake-up coffee. Vivi is a blend of, once again, 80% Robusta (highly caffeinated, very strong tasting) and 20% Arabica (low caffeine content)

You are what you eat!

Ok, I consider myself a vegetarian but I hate labeling. I do know what meat tastes like, and it tastes good. I just don't want to eat it. Regardless, I will never try to convince someone to stop eating meat. Discontinuing the eating of flesh is completely individual choice, and should be made on your own and not by someone else. BUT, Andy just asked me to post about meat...so I give him, a post on meat.




I remember reading this chart a long time ago and just found it again. INTERESTING.

This is just one reason vegetarians veg the way they do.

Meat-eaters: have claws

Herbivores: no claws

Humans: no claws

Meat-eaters: have no skin pores and perspire through the tongue

Herbivores: perspire through skin pores

Humans: perspire through skin pores

Meat-eaters: have sharp front teeth for tearing, with no flat molar teeth for grinding

Herbivores: no sharp front teeth, but flat rear molars for grinding

Humans: no sharp front teeth, but flat rear molars for grinding

Meat-eaters: have intestinal tract that is only 3 times their body length so that rapidly decaying meat can pass through quickly

Herbivores: have intestinal tract 10-12 times their body length.

Humans: have intestinal tract 10-12 times their body length.

Meat-eaters: have strong hydrochloric acid in stomach to digest meat

Herbivores: have stomach acid that is 20 times weaker than that of a meat-eater

Humans: have stomach acid that is 20 times weaker than that of a meat-eater

Meat-eaters: salivary glands in mouth not needed to pre-digest grains and fruits.

Herbivores: well-developed salivary glands which are necessary to pre-digest grains and fruits

Humans: well-developed salivary glands, which are necessary to pre-digest, grains and fruits

Meat-eaters: have acid saliva with no enzyme ptyalin to pre-digest grains

Herbivores: have alkaline saliva with ptyalin to pre-digest grains

Humans: have alkaline saliva with ptyalin to pre-digest grains

Vegetarianism is the key to good health and happiness. Besides being an expression of compassion for animals, vegetarianism is followed for ecological and health rationales . Did you know that Benjamin Franklin ate tofu? Did you know that Albert Einstein advocated vegetarianism.

ArGGGGG uh oh its MUNCHTIME

My mom was reEally tired tonight, so I didn't want to make to much noise in the kitchen. Munch time for sure. My options for serious snacking were thwarted. I remembered that I made homemade toasted bread chips a couple of days ago (basically a chip size crouton, but so much bomber; topped with a mix of spices after being drizzled with a little big of olive oil). This sparked my fancy. My mom picked up my favorite goat cheese....ever. By far fucking hands down favorite. This goat cheese is called...The Drunken Goat (perfect I know). This particular goat cheese isn't creamy like the stuff you can buy in the stores. This shit is fresh, firm, and fucking fabulous. The Drunken Goat gets its name for the cheese to sits in red wine with the rine on so the rine soaks in all those fabulous vino deliciousness. I must say, you have to have an acquired taste for goat cheese, but once you get your hands on some primium shit, you'll be fiending for that shit on the daily.

I couldn't just munch on bread toasts and cheese all night....so...being a fan of fruit, I decided that some unsweetned pure apple sauce was my ticket tonight. I get weird cravings at night. But what I top off my delicious plain applesauce with is a litttle pumpkin pie spice (cinnamon, cloves, hazelnut, and something else thats at the tip of my tounge and I'll think of it in a minute you watch)

Besides my snackage, I found some fucking awesome orange juice in my refridgerator. DUH!!!!

In other news:

I opened my double feature Neverending Story pack. Whoop!!! Let me remind you....

Two things....Atreyu's horse just got swallowed up by the swamp. Like it just sunk into the mud and drowned. That's fucking sad. The other thing is, you see that fool above the flying dog? Is that fuck the midget in Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory (the remake)? If so, HOW THE FUCK OLD IS HE?!

Vegan Banana Bread

I know, I can't sleep. And I still get asked for this so, fuck, why not....last thing tonight I swear.
(Goes to show, I can't get food off my mind)

Vegan Banana Bread

• 1 1/2 c. flour
• 1/2 c. oil (I use 1/4 plus liquid)
• 3/4 cup of sugar
  
• 1 1/2 tsp. baking soda
• 1/2 tsp ground cinnamon
  
• 1/2 tsp ground nutmeg
  
• 1/4 tsp. salt
• 1 cup of ricemilk or water (water works fine with this)
• 1 1/2 mashed bananas
• 1/2 cup (or more) of toasted walnuts --OPTIONAL
• almost a tsp. of Vanilla Extract --OPTIONAL (if your feeling adventurous...I would try without the first time making this, I only added this after making this a few times and wanting some variety)
  

Preheat your oven to 375 degrees. Mix flour, sugar, baking soda, salt, cinnamon, nutmeg, and water together...Don't mix for too long or your dough will get too tough...no bueno. Anyways, take your bananas (if you don't have ripe bananas I find that zapping them in the microwave for a couple of seconds [15] works quite well) and mash it well. I have a habit of always mixing my oil with the bananas so it makes a weird consistancy to that of eggs acting as a bind for our banana bread.

If you chose to use walnuts, toast them in a pan for a couple of minutes...or until you can actually smell roasting walnuts. Add them to the mixture.

To grease pans I use vegetable oil and pour a little on a paper towel and wipe the inside of a bread pan. I find that this evenly coats. Pour the mixture into the pan and bake for about 30 min. My recipe is meant for about 2 servings...double, or triple the measurements for a bigger amount of people endulging ^.^


(I just typed that out without looking at my notes, so I might come back and tweak this if I see that I typed anything wrong :p)

Pesticides in our ever enjoyable produce!!!!!!!

Ok, I have just had a lot shit on my mind relating with food and ever aspect of it today. If you eat as much fruit as I do, you might want to tune in (and not drop out) to what I'm about to preach. Organic is really the way to go, no joke. This does not mean you have to stop eating meat and all that, it just simply means, know where you are getting your foods from. Hell you can even get organic beef nowadays. You just really want to know where the fuck you food has been, and also what has been ON your food.

I read this on foodnews.org (I know geek right, what the fuck ever)

Why Should You Care About Pesticides?

There is growing consensus in the scientific community that small doses of pesticides and other chemicals can adversely affect people, especially during vulnerable periods of fetal development and childhood when exposures can have long lasting effects. Because the toxic effects of pesticides are worrisome, not well understood, or in some cases completely unstudied, shoppers are wise to minimize exposure to pesticides whenever possible.

Will Washing and Peeling Help?

Nearly all of the data used to create these lists already considers how people typically wash and prepare produce (for example, apples are washed before testing, bananas are peeled). While washing and rinsing fresh produce may reduce levels of some pesticides, it does not eliminate them. Peeling also reduces exposures, but valuable nutrients often go down the drain with the peel. The best option is to eat a varied diet, wash all produce, and choose organic when possible to reduce exposure to potentially harmful chemicals.

Ten Aphrodisiacs

From various countries:

A.D. 900: Sheep's eyelid marinated in hot tea. Chinese emperors were required to keep twenty-one wives, a precise number thought to have magical properties, and the empereor was expected to make love to ten of them every night. A Taoist manual advised that this could be made possible by applying the mixture to the imperial penis.

1400: Pigeon dung and snail excrement [England]

1690: Toad excrement [France]. This method had the royal seal of approval; it was the one successfully employed by King Louis XIV's mistress Madame de Montespan.

1700: Menstrual blood as a food or drink additive [Germany]

1830: Lion testicles or arsenic [London]

1850: Penis and scrotum of a vanquished enemy warrior [Brazillian Cubeo tribe]

1900: Live monkey brains [Malaysia]. Live monkey was forced into a tight container with a bowl fitted to its head, the skull was cut and open and peeled back to reveal the exposed brain, which was then scooped out with a spoon or sucked through a straw.

1943: Animal hormone. To restore Adolf Hitler's impaired virility, his personal physician, Dr. Theodore Morell, injected the Fuhrer with a compound containing hormones from crushed animal genitalia.

Milk from your Mother's teet.

I don't know about you, but I fucking hate milk...so much. I mean, I love cheese. All kinds of cheese, but there is just something about milk, that I despise. I just learned today that milk has been being used since the stone age...8,500 years ago. Fuck man, that's some way gnar numbers.
Want your stone age Milk news?





Fuck I'm sorry, that was inappropriate.

“South L.A. is a food desert of massive proportions."

Whilst at work, my fellow co-workers are off smoking marijuana and I am here all by my fucking self...fucking peachy. The Mr. Boss is out too, so honestly I have nothing to do but surf the web and look up some interesting food surveys. What I came across tickled my fancy. A recent article in the New York Times By Jennifer Steinhaur stated that people go to fast food restaurants because its what they KNOW. Well if that's the case what the fuck. If it's is knowledge they want, they fucking let us give it to them. Steinhaur explains the importance of local ingredients which are essential to good tasting food! The only draw back is a little stretch on our limited supply of $$$$$$ in our wallets. Fuck :-\

New York Times Article -- "Last month California became the first state to ban trans fats in all restaurants and bakeries, following similar legislation in New York and other cities. "

Furthermore, I am in no way saying I don't enjoy the occasional french fry...because I would be lying. Drunk f.f. eating is way bomb, don't even deny it.

Cooking with a Fat Jewish Guy?

I don't know how many of you are familar with Fat Jewish Guy (David Feingold), but this guy actually catches my attention. Although I wouldn't eat half the shit this fuck posts under his reciepes, I do applaud his comedic qualities. Besides, half the shit he cooks is fried in one way or another, so YOU might appreciate him. Not only does FJG apply receipes to his site daily, he also posts some entertaining-opinionated-news. ENJOi

Lemon Pesto on Ciabatta Bread

Ok so, if you love finger food as much as me, you'll like this one. I like to make this a lot when I go to family dinners, sort of like each family brings something to munch on. Enjoi fuckers.

1 (8-ounce) pack frozen artichoke hearts(make sure they are thawed) or I like to buy the jar of artichoke hearts because I don't have to wait for the unfreezing part.
1/2 cup chopped walnuts, make sure you toast them (long enough to actually start SMELLING the nutz toasting)
2 cloves garlic
1/2 teaspoon kosher salt (thicker salt then the ones in salt shakers)
1/2 teaspoon groud pepper
1/2 cup extra-virgin olive oil
1 cup fresh parsley leaves, easiest herb to find...might even grow in your backyard. Don't use dried herbs.
1 lemon, zested (where you take the rine off) and juiced
2/3 cup grated Parmesan (2 teaspoons per cube)
1 (12 to 16-inch) ciabatta loaf, cut into slices
1/4 cup extra-virgin olive oil, for drizzling

Use a food processor to combine the artichokes, parsley, walnuts, lemon zest and juice, garlic, salt, and pepper. Run the machine to finely chop all the ingredients, stopping the machine a few times to scrape down the sides. Then, while you still have the processor running, drizzle in 1/2 cup extra-virgin olive oil.

Mix in the Parmesan when you are about to spread on cibatta. Place a grill pan over medium-high heat. Drizzle the ciabatta slices with the 1/4 cup extra-virgin olive oil. Grill until toasted, about 5 minutes. Spread the artichoke pesto over the toasted slices and serve.

MMMMMM Truffles; and no not the chocolate ones you dip shits!

I have come the the conclusion that no time soon will I be tasting these fucking expensive delicacies. So you may be wondering what the hell these awful looking things are...

well I will indulge you.

The truffle belongs to the tuber (genus) family.

A truffle is the valuable and highly sought-after, edible fruiting body of a group of subterranean ascomycete fungi of the genus Tuber. All truffles are ectomycorrizhal and are therefore found in close association with trees. These are the only "true" truffles, however, the term has been applied to several other genera of underground fungi around the world.

The ascoma (fruiting body) of truffles is highly prized as a food, their smell has been described as similar to deep-fried sunflower seeds or walnuts, although it has also been described as "a foul aroma." Not all people are able to smell the odor of this fungus. Water that truffles have been soaked in can taste a bit like soy sauce. Brillat-Savarin called the truffle "the diamond of the kitchen" and praised its aphrodisiacal powers. While their aphrodisiac properties may be unproven, truffles are nevertheless held in high esteem in French, northern Italian and Istrian cooking, as well as in international haute cusine.

Goat's Testicles to Go: Ten National Delicacies

MMM TASTY!

1. Cena Molida - contains roasted mashed cockroaches [Belize]

2. Fried, roasted, or boiled guinea pig [Ecuador]

3. Rat meat sausages [Philippines]

4.Desiccated petrified deer's penis [China]

5. Boodog - goat broiled inside a bag made from the carefully cut and tied goatskin: the goat is either barbecued over an open fire or cooked with a blowtorch [Mongolia]

6. Monkey toes [Indonesia]

7. Lark's tongues [England in the sixteenth century]

8. Salted horse meat sandwiches [Netherlands]

9. Durian fruit - has a fragrance identical to that of a rotting corpse [Southeast Asia]

10. Khachapuri, the traditional cheese pie of the former Soviet republic of Georgia. In 1995 authorities closed down a bakery whose specialty was khachapuri when it emerged that the pies were being baked in the Tbilisi morgue.